Jag är verkligen inte säker på vad jag ska göra av den här killen. I The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio drama, Secondary Phase, CD-skiva 3 spår 19, "Pussy Want His Fish?", Möter våra hjältar äntligen The Man, universets hemliga linjal. Han är inte vad de förväntar sig: han bor ensam med sin katt och vägrar att ta ställning till någonting. Här är en del dialogruta:
Universalmästaren, talar till sin katt:
...Pussy not eat his
fish, pussy get thin and waste away. I think. I imagine this is what
will happen, but how can I tell? I think it's better if I don't get
involved. I think fish is nice, but I think rain is wet, so who am I
to judge? ... Fish come from far away, or so I'm told, or so I imagine
I'm told. When the men come, or when in my mind the men come, in
their six black shiny ships, do they come in your mind too? What do
you see, pussy? And when I hear their questions, and there are many
questions, do you hear questions? Perhaps you just think they're
signing songs to you! Perhaps they are singing songs to you and I
just think they're asking me questions. Do you think they came today?
I do. There's mud on the floor, cigarettes and whiskey on my table,
fish in your plate, and a memory of them in my mind. ... I think they
must be right in thinking they ask me questions. ... Who can tell?
Zarniwoop, Ford, Arthur och Zaphod talar till linjalen:
Ford: Uh, excuse me,
do you rule the universe?
Ruler: I try not to. Are you wet?
Zarniwoop: Wet!? Well doesn't it look as if we're wet?
Ruler: That's
how it looks to me, but how you feel about it might be a different
matter. If you find warmth makes you dry, you'd better come in.
Zaphod: Like, man, what's your name?
Ruler: I don't know. Why, do you
think I ought to have one? It seems odd to give a bundle of vague
sensory perceptions a name.
Zarniwoop: How long have you been ruling the universe?
Ruler: Ah, this is a question about the past, is it?
Zarniwoop: Yes.
Ruler: How can I tell that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the descrepancy between my immediate physical sensations, and my state of
mind?
Zarniwoop: Do you answer all questions like this?
Ruler: I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things. More, I cannot say.
Zarniwoop: People come to you, yes?
Ruler: I think so.
Zarniwoop: And they ask you to make decisions, about wars, about economies, about people, about everything going on out there in the universe?
Ruler: I only decide about my universe. My universe is what happens to my eyes and ears. Anything else is surmise and hearsay. For all I know,
these people may not exist. You may not exist. I say what it occurs
to me to say.
Zarniwoop: But don't you see, what you decide affects
the fate of millions of people.
Ruler: I don't know them, I never met
them, they only exist in words I think I hear. The men who come to me
say, "so and so wants to declare what we call a 'war.' These are the
facts, what do you think?" and I say.
Ruler: But it's folly to say you know what's happening to other
people. Only they know, if they exist.
Zarniwoop: Do you think they do?
Ruler: I have no opinion, how can I have.
Zarniwoop: Look, but don't you see that people live or die on your
word?
Ruler: It's nothing to do with me, I'm not involved with people.
Senare:
Ruler: It merely pleases me to behave in a certain way to what appears
to be a cat. What else do you do?
Var Douglas Adams poking kul på en viss filosofi, eller kanske en politisk rörelse? Det finns spår av skepsis, sofistik och postmodernism här, men jag är ingen filosof.